Cycling Wish List for 2010

As a fan of all things cycling, I’m looking ahead to 2010 with anticipation.  New teams, new dreams and excitement of all two-wheeled forms to look forward to.  Without further ado, my cycling hopes, both serious and humorous, for 2010 are :

1)      The obvious – Big George to win Paris-Roubaix.  For one of cycling’s great men and one who stands out as an example of team over self, Big George deserves this long-chased victory.  Paris-Roubaix tends to require the perfect mix of preparation and luck, and a little luck is all George needs.

2)      The overdue – For the CAS, UCI and all involved to finally get their hands on the Operation Puerto blood bags and show that Valverde doped.  Given all the circumstances, I think it’s an absolute shame that he was able to ride in and win the Vuelta given the dark cloud of doom hanging over his head.  The Spanish authorities attempts to shove all this underneath the rug is still the black eye of cycling.

3)      The slightly more absurd – former gangsta vanguard and future star of the Welcome Back Kotter movie, Ice Cube randomly stumbles across a reference of Katie “Fn” Compton’s US Cyclocross championship.  Cube recognizes a potential cross-marketing boom, develops a process to micro-chrome plate carbon without adding weight and sponsors a team.  Katie gets entourage of armed bodyguards, signature line of suede Sidis, and new track to be played in background for all podium finishes.  Zipp spinners, anyone?

4)      The wishful thinking – Tom Boonen talks of wanting another Paris-Roubaix win.  Sorry, have to wait until next year due to wish #1.  However, I’d like to see Tom focus on chasing a green jersey and pulling out a sprint or two against Cavendish.  Cavendish already thinks Tom’s too old to compete.  Given Tornado Tom’s string of bad luck during the Tour, much less the mess leading up to it, it could only get better.

5)      The old guy wish – everybody in their late 30’s (myself included) got inspired by Lance calling himself the “old guy” during comeback 2.0.  “The Lung” was 31 and winning his first NORBA titles when Lance was just getting his driver’s license.  Ned Overend has the ride of his life and pulls out another UCI World Championship, 20 years after his first in 1990.  54 years old and he still beats ¾ of the average pro field.

6)      The wishful thinking pt. 2 – 2010 TdF podium (in no particular order) Sastre, Schleck, Armstrong.  Regardless of his limitless talent, Contador needs to realize what it takes to be a leader. Wiggins just needs to realize he hasn’t earned the level of ego he’s displaying and Sky’s disregard for doing business the right way sets me off.  As much as I think Jonathan Vaughters is a little too shameless in his self-promotion, I think he was dead-on right in how he handled himself in discussing the loss of Wiggo and for being professionally forthright in putting out the real story.

7)      The American dream – Levi wins the Vuelta.  It’s somewhat disappointing to me that Levi doesn’t get more fan attention.  Yes, he’s not the semi-Hollywood look of Hincapie and doesn’t possess the alpha-male bravado of Armstrong, but he’s a champion.  Maybe because I’m a short guy with no hair, I’m a bigger fan. Regardless, with the ToC’s later date providing a later start to his season, I’d like to see Lance and Horner pull him to a Grand Tour victory.

8)      The working man’s wish – Horner wins a TdF stage.  Horner was riding at an entirely new level last year when he was upright and not sporting a broken bone or two.  He’s got the ability to get in the right breakaway and make it stick.

9)      The Letterman reference – despite my desire to see Americans win, I’m looking for a 3rd World Championship for Irina Kalentieva in XC MTB.  Just picture Letterman drawing out the sound of her last name Ka-len-tee-ay-va then doing the trademark hair-fix/tie-adjust in the camera.   She just sounds like a Bond girl.

10)   The could-it-be? – The UCI biological passport notices strange blood values on recently crowned world champion Cadel Evans.  After further research, it is determined that Cadel is only 84% human.  The remaining 16% are split evenly between Elf and Hobbit.


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